and then there are boys.  I’m proud to say I’m a man. There are too many people out there that are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

So the ex came by not long ago.  She brought her boyfriend and they boxed up most of the remaining stuff she had left behind.  Honestly, I had expected emotions to rise and feelings getting hurt.  

Strangely, everything was peaceful and nothing happened.  I’m glad that went so well.  

As much as many would rather she continue to fall, I am glad she is getting back on her feet.  I’m still struggling with leftover bills but I’ll be ok.  

I even offered coffee and the boyfriend accepted, thanking me. 

Perhaps we can continue to be peaceful.  I never wanted to hate and I suppose I am accepting everything that’s happened.

All in all, I understand what needed to be learned:

You can’t control who does and doesn’t love you.

make mistakes.

Learning and living through them is what makes us better people.

It’s often wondered why bad things happen to those that don’t deserve it. 

It’s more-so wondered why good things happen to those that are truly wicked and obviously don’t deserve anything good that comes their way.

I’ve learned that in this life, it’s important to be kind, treat others as you would want to be treated and expect to be walked on.

But here’s the most important thing:

Love yourself.  Don’t ever stop.  Just love yourself and live for you.

It’s a wonderful thing to love another person.  Just as it’s even more wonderful if the other person loves you back just as much.

Never take anyone for granted.  You will never be able to tell when or if they will not be around for you anymore. 

When you’ve done something to wrong another person, you have no rite to be upset when wrongs of the same nature are committed against you.

What goes around, comes around. Reap what you sow.  Karma.  They all mean the same thing.  But are all equally puzzling.

Don’t get cocky.  You never know when you’ll be pushed off of that hill.

I’ve learned that in order for positive things to happen to anyone that would appreciate them, that person must first learn how to overcome the negative aspects of life.  A homeless person would know to respect the kindness offered with the gift of a blanket or new shoes.

I’ve been through a lot in my life.  I’ve seen more of the world that many could only dream to view.  I’ve also suffered enough hardships to drive someone to madness.  I know the face of pure terror. I have worn that face before.

Something I never understood is the inability to make a few sacrifices in order to gain something you want.  If you have facial piercings and are looking for an office job in a professional setting, it may be a good idea to take them out. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love piercings and have some myself.  But I also know that when the time comes to move on to a better job, they are going to come out.

If you want to get out of one level and move to the next, you can’t bring everything from the previous one with you. 

I never understood why some people can’t grasp this simple concept. 

The past few weeks have been rather interesting. 

Last month, it was very much confirmed that the wife room mate was very much more than friends with this guy.  They talk on the phone constantly and I am hearing her say “I love you” a lot.  All I have to say about that is “Wow”.  I mean, for something that “Didn’t start up til very recently”, they sure moved to love fast. 

Honey badger don’t give a shit.

While it’s still stinging a little when I hear them talk and she flaunts her new relationship around me like a cat that has caught a mouse, I can’t really complain.

Still, there is a sting when she twists that dagger she put in my back. 

Like last night when we went to the mall so she could get a hair cut and we could get dinner. 

Oh yeah, she refers to me as her “gay best friend”.

Wow…

But hey, at least we aren’t getting to the point that we are trying to screw each other over.  At least not yet.  I still don’t trust her.  But still, we are remaining friends to be civil.  I still care for her as a person and besides, I invested years in this woman.  However, I do not and will never again love her.

Let me tell you about something that happened a few weeks ago. 

I met a nice woman that is really into me and hell, I like her too.  We really hit it off on one weekend the room mate was out in Austin with her boyfriend.  Turns out, she’s the step sister of one guy that the then-wife (and before when we were engaged..) had cheated on me with. Small world.

The following Friday night, I was getting dressed downstairs on my couch (I don’t sleep in the bed anymore).  I went up to the bedroom to get my boots and I hear a giggle and hear her speak.  “Did you get my text?”  Right then, my phone goes off and I read what she had sent me. 

“Wanna have sex?”

Wow….

I put my phone back in my pocket, grab my boots and look at her, answering with a smile. “Nope.”

Then I left the house and spent the rest of the night with my now girlfriend.  I have to say, turning her down was probably the best feeling I’ve had in a long long time.  And the *ahem* marathon that happened that night was better than any number of times with her.  I think I found a good one.  ^_^

So yeah, I now have a girlfriend (facebook official) and she’s finally admitted that she and her “friend” are really together.  I mean, why hide something that’s so damn obvious?  As for me and love, I’m not going to be saying “love” until I really know it for sure.  Maybe never again, but I know myself better than that.

I’m moving along, she is, too.  Now to finally file this damn divorce and get her out of my home.